There’s the light you can see….and there’s the light you can’t see. Things you can’t see have effects on your biology. This is important to know because much of this is diminishing your LIFE and contributing massively to the WHY of why everyone is getting sicker and sicker.
LIGHT. We are electromagnetic, quantum beings in a symbiotic love affair with the sun & the earth.
The Influence of Ocular Light Perception on Metabolism in Man and in Animals
There’s no doubt: beauty haunts us because it reminds us we’re capable of more than survival — we’re meant to feel.
I swing back and forth in my mind
Do I retreat into the wilderness?
Or do I stay and fight?
There are arguments for both.
It depends on my choosing what I am after in life.
What do I want the energy around me to be?
Am I worth fighting for?
Is human life?
Is life?
Do I back away until I’m cornered?
Keep running for peace until there’s none to be found?
Chasing the allure of freedom?
Or see how much of it has vanished?
Turn to fight the rot?
I still have the luxury of swinging back and forth
For peace of mind, I can’t help myself.
And yes—it got worse.
So much worse that Dave’s doctor quit. He emailed us saying it was “too stressful” and dropped Dave with zero notice until after the fact.
The clinic cut him off without warning, without a plan to taper his medications, and without a shred of concern. They told us—verbatim—that he had to “prove he had pain because they (the feds) are watching us very closely.” That’s exactly what the new doctor said. She repeated it multiple times before we finally stood up and left—after I told her she should be standing up against this abuse and her profession was in the toilet.
Instead, she told us if Dave had a problem with being cut off, he should go to rehab.
Rehab. For having chronic pain.
There was zero compassion.
We were treated like we were the problem.
To “prove” he had pain, they demanded he start from scratch—despite us carrying a one-foot-thick suitcase of medical records: surgeries, imaging, pain management notes, years of failed and damaging medications they had pushed on him. They refused to look at any of it.
“They are watching us,” she kept saying.
She wasn’t there to help. She was there to protect herself.
They wanted him to undergo harmful and unnecessary procedures that had nothing to do with healing.
No. Fucking. Way.
If we had gone along with their demands, I have no doubt Dave would be dead by now.
Since then, we’ve had no contact with the U.S. medical-industrial complex.
As far as I’m concerned, it’s filled with robotic, cowardly minions.
I’m done playing nice.
Am I angry?
You better believe it.
The healthcare profession in this country is a disgrace.
And as a parting shot—they lied in Dave’s medical record and claimed he had abused drugs.
There was zero evidence. I had to write letters and threaten legal action to get that lie addressed. And even then, they didn’t remove it—they just struck through it, like a half-assed correction.
This system has been adversarial and hostile to us consistently with only a few who showed true compassion, and it couldn’t be more clear:
They will do anything to protect themselves from accountability.
The restaurant Dave and I ran just north of Milwaukee, Wisconsin — an experience packed with stories, stress, and survival.
We dealt with it all: employees freaking out with knives…screaming and waving them around. Calling law enforcement and having a deputy tell me said knife waving/screaming is no big deal.
We spent weeks promoting a concert only to have the band ghost us — despite being booked and paid in advance.
Our grand opening? The expensive, high-tech, computerized order and payment system crashed. Hand-holding freaked out employees and coaching them how to take orders with a pen and paper – OLD STYLE.
Vendors who were nowhere when we needed them, but then barged in during peak lunch hours trying to pitch garbage we didn’t ask for.
Female employees hitting on Dave. Lying, theft, sabotage. Workers who whined for more hours — then called in “sick” 3/4s of the time. When I stopped scheduling them as much, they accused me of harming their children! The drama was constant: emotional meltdowns, petty fights, chaos, backstabbing.
Customers were no better. Parents let their kids run wild — dangerously so. Customers scaling the courtyard walls like it was a jungle gym. Abusing waitresses. Smoking meth in the bathroom.
We had great food though!
We had a bakery — I made everything from scratch: cheesecakes, muffins, cookies, and killer pastries. We served paninis on gourmet breads, 100% Angus beef burgers, custom personal pizzas, crisp salads, and soups I made fresh every day.
We had a gorgeous cherry-red chrome espresso machine from Italy and offered specialty coffee drinks using locally roasted beans. We poured boutique wines, local craft beers, and fancy sodas and juices. We had some regular customers who truly appreciated the good food and helped preserve my sanity.
It was beautiful, exhausting, and often absurd. One thing I learned….I enjoy cooking….I’m good at it, but I would NEVER do another restaurant!
**Note: I jotted this down quickly and I think it’s still a work in progress….might make revisions before I call it. 🙂
They talk of weather, sports, and fame,
Yet never question life’s true game.
To them, the sun’s a burning glare,
To me, it’s truth beyond compare.
They cling to screens, to glowing chains,
Oblivious to what remains.
The pulse of earth beneath their feet,
The stars above—they never meet.
I yearn for depth, for minds unbound,
For kindred spirits rarely found.
To tread where wisdom plants its seed,
To feel what most will never need.
Alienated, yet not lost,
Aware of freedom’s heavy cost.
For though I stand apart, alone,
I’ve found a truth that feels like home.
LINK TO BUY IT (use this & I may get a commission from amazon)
Book recommendation.
This book has helped me learn about LIFE. It has helped me be:
More aware.
More understanding.
Better equipped for anything.
I wrote the original in early 2009….made a few mods since then. Changed 2-3 lines a bit. More relevant today than ever.
Here I find myself
or is it dementia?
I digress,
Here I was….I am here
Like it
or
NOT?
In a swirling whirly dirl
Of input.
Input Input Input
A buzz, awash,
Swimming like drunken fish
With all the other cast-a-ways
Human vessels launched like ships
into this sea of shit.
The Great Feed.
Passing through wires and air and mouths.
Frequency of frequent overloads
too much
Information and lies
My brain is ringing
Turn the ringer off….leave a message after the beep
I’ll get back to you
ASATSHTF
(as soon as the shit hits the fan)
I’m out of the office
At the trough of numbness,
Munching on episodes of Reality TV
Watching bandana-clad people eating rice on Survivor.
So shut up and stop telling me the sky is falling.
I don’t have time for real reality.
MTV Cribs is on.
Anderson Cooper and Alex Jones can go trip the light fandango
SOMEWHERE ELSE.
Maybe with Hitler,
I hear he lives in Argentina
His chatroom handle is Swash Tic Tac Toe.
I’m diabetic to the fluorinated mind candy.
I only swallow black pills incrementally.
I prefer to inhale my radionuclides
While listening to whale songs
Partaking of Mr. Bubble in the tub
and forming theories of my own
Misconbobulations.
Ahoy, you pirate rebels-
I’ve left the ladder low
Dipping just so…
Into the stream of the Feed.
You can climb right up
To emotional stability
And original thought.
But I’m warning you…
Stopping the feed cold turkey
Can make you individuate.
Standing on the shore,
Watching the fish swim by
Caught up in the bass-ackwards current,
Going upstream
Against the truth.
Eating low-quality food may be cheaper monetarily, but the cost to health and quality of life are high.
I want beautiful, nutritious, viable food that supports health and freedom from the medical system. I’m willing to pay more as my circumstances permit. But the food I’d really prefer is out of reach. Local, biodynamic, animals that eat from a healthy, diverse wild ecosystem, ethically harvested, sacred. But that’s only for the uber-rich and connected.
That’s how I feel.
Most of the food in our USA grocery stores is low quality. This standard of low quality has been adopted & normalized. The culture (school, religion, entertainment, and consumerism) encourages acceptance of deception.
The food is shit because it’s cheaper to create. More nefariously there’s compelling evidence it’s done to weaken the population. Keep people down. Make us more docile, passive, and exploitable.