Child-free by Choice
I made a video talking about this HERE.
My desire to not procreate goes back as far as I can remember. I know that by kindergarten age it was something I felt resolute about.
Since I was a child I was a profound thinker and a keen observer. I enjoyed time in solitude reflecting on life, nature, the world around me. Early I observed that civilization had serious flaws. I noticed the degradation of the environment. How people often acted in thoughtless and cruel ways. Discipline, common sense, and true appreciation seemed lacking. Where there were people, there was litter, ugliness, noisiness, danger, and lots of politics that didn’t make much sense to me.
I grew up in an environment where everyone was conservative and traditional. People all seemed to follow the same basic life path. The world was filled with homogenous lives.
I felt drawn to a different way of life. I knew I needed the ability to NOT participate in the status quo. I read a lot. I enjoyed programs on Public Television that were about faraway places, different cultures, history, and nature. I loved art. Creating things. Painting, drawing, making up stories and songs. I craved a life filled with these things and the ability to chase my insatiable curiosity.
It seemed to me that having children would stack the odds against me in my ability to live an unconventional life. Also, it would suck me into dealing with people and society in ways I would rather have the option to avoid. It was not a risk I was willing to take.
I’m an introvert. A gregarious one….but very much a lone wolf. I don’t feel a desire to socialize much. I’m OK if it happens…but I don’t actively seek it. Much of human behavior strikes me as irrational. People, by their actions, invite suffering to their lives. Yet, they seldom change their behavior in order to avoid repeating these consequences over and over again. I’m happy to limit my exposure to people who consistengly act this way.
I’m nearing 50. I’ve thought about this choice to not have kids deeply, but not often. It has always been a matter that felt settled to me. I’ve never regretted it.
About every ten years or so, I change direction in my life. I have enjoyed living in different ways. I went to college. I’ve worked for others. I’ve held a diverse array of jobs. I’ve been unemployed. I’ve been a business owner. I’ve lived in thirteen different houses and three different RVs/Campers over the years. I built a house from straw bales. I’ve homesteaded. I’ve traveled a good bit. I’ve lived in Mexico.
I’ve changed myself as experience, knowledge, perceptions, and the world have evolved. I have lived a life that is not consistent. I have no desire to “settle down”. I expect that I’ll continue to turn off down different roads for as long as I live.
If I’d have had kids, I think it would have been difficult or impossible for me to do the things I’ve done. Being child-free has been the right path for me.
- a person or thing situated away or detached from the main body or system.”less accessible islands and outliers”
- a person or thing differing from all other members of a particular group or set.